Let it be known, I don’t really have to try for anything in my life. I live comfortably with my big family in my big house. Being the only girl out of six, my parents gave me all the attention I needed and spoiled me. I didn’t ask for much and they always gave it to me. It even frustrated me at times. I would be prepared to suffer because of my mistakes and follies, but they fixed it for me. It makes me mad. I hate when they make it sooo easy.
I’ve always gotten good grades. School comes very easy to me, as do most other skills. I’ve never had to work hard for that. People enjoy my company for some reason or another. A lot of them describe me as funny and/or cute and artistic. I hate that too. I’m not funny. I’m sarcastic and rude. I’m not cute, just stupid, and I hate that all they see me for is the doodles they’ve seen on the side of a notebook page.
I haven’t been happy in a very long time. When you have everything there isn’t anything to work for. I don’t like to be around people, but if I wanted to I’d just have to make a few calls and I could have a night on the town. It comes to bore me. That isn’t what I want. I don’t feel right if I don’t have a project going or some crazy idea for a webcomic running through my head. That’s not a problem for me either.
Long story short, I don’t have to try. Because I don’t have to try I never put any effort into anything. I don’t put effort into my clothing, I don’t clean my room, I do the minimum required of me, and I cut my hair short so I don’t have to deal with that either. I’m lazy and most of the time I don’t look very nice. I never take more responsibility than I have to. Or at least that WAS the case. Someone changed me.
All I’ve ever wanted, for as long as I could remember, was somebody to love. I didn’t think I’d ever get anybody and certainly not the someone that I did.
It’s really weird being in a relationship. Everything is different. It makes a person want to be happy all the time and nice to everyone. Having a significant other is, to me, the equivalent of shared electrons in chemical bonds. It’s exciting and there’s someone to share the negative (and the positive) with you.
I didn’t realize either of us had changed until someone pointed it out to me. My best friend, just as an off statement, happened to say “he’s changed since he’s been with you. He’s happier.” Looking at the bigger perspective she was right. He refused to smoke for my sake, he stopped swearing, he told me he was trying to become a decent person so that he could “be worthy of [me].” Little did I know, I was doing the same. I started waking up on time, brushing my hair in the morning, showering more often, cleaning, doing my chores. I didn’t realize I was doing all these things. I just knew that I wanted to try harder to be a good person and to be responsible.
I think in the end, he needed someone to care and I needed a reason to care. In a little bit of circular reasoning “We’re together because it makes sense, and it makes sense because we’re together.”
As an end all the someone that I love changed me in a way I couldn’t imagine.
tiring pages, 